Wednesday, March 04, 2009
TIME: 11:31 PM
I just had a talk with the devil today. He was very persuasive. He doesn't tell you outright what to do, instead, he hints here and there about what might be or what might not, and left me to my overactive imagination to work out the rest.
The devil is a resourceful little devil (pun is intended) who knows how to get to all the little cracks in your defenses, and push in a little doubt here, a little self-pity there. Basically, he got me questioning about the usual things that I have issues with, why be selfless when others are selfish; why not hurt others and feel good instead of getting hurt and feel bad. The next step was to list out bad points of about people close to me, and start getting all judgmental.
Now at this point, I was getting emo so I turned on emo songs.
So I was basically emo for the 2 bus-stop rides towards the mrt. And I was waiting for the train when the Holy Spirit nudged me. Now the Holy Spirit is similar to the devil in that He doesn't command you to do anything, instead he nudges you. What's different of course is that instead of trying to get you to think about how bad life is, He gets you to think about how good God is. So well naturally in an emo state.. you don't wanna think about what good points God has, because basically you're thinking, all of this crap was given by God, so how good can He be.
So as part of a evidence gathering kinda thing( Sub-D topic), ol' HS suggested listening to the This is Our God album. Now normally in emo state, christian songs aren't exactly the kinda things you wanna hear and up until recently, I reveled in emo state, it was just how I am. But fortunately, God has been working on me to dwell a little less in the emo and a little more in Him.
So to cut the long story short, I started listening to the Desert song, very good song to hear when you are emo btw. And after awhile I felt better and decided that I might as well make a little prayer. And now normally in emo state, skepticism runs at an all time high and even if God were to appear in person, you'll think its just a trick of the mind. But like I said, God is working in me. So anyway, about 5 mins after my prayer, a miracle happened and I patched things up. Now I don't know how that happened, but considering the time frame, I'm guessing that God had a hand in it. And so I felt all that better, and I'm really really all happy that I didn't do anything that I would have regreted.
So to end off, I really thank God today, He really came through for me, even when I was off tangent. And today really felt like a breakthrough day. So basically Ha! you useless devil, take that! God is stronger than you!
This post is adapted from my private blog. :P Sorry but I'm not thaaat open :P
Friday, February 20, 2009
TIME: 11:38 AM
I have 4 people to thank for helping me through this hellish week. yeah I can't say its hell week coz i actually know people who went thru that and they probably wun agree with me. But thank God for Rayson who spent hours on mon getting me to cheer up. Nic for constantly checking up on me and Minghan for praying. And Yinglin for well being the same and talking crap with me like... almost everyday.. lol
Sunday, February 15, 2009
TIME: 10:00 PM
haiz... horrible week... I've been extremely destructive.
First my harddisk blew a fuse and therefore im restricted from using my 300gb worth of entertainment.
Then I backed my car into a pillar resulting in what could only be described as a been smashed by a giant fist dent on the back of the car...
Life sucks...